The MISSING Element of Anti-Bullying

For the past TEN years, I have had the opportunity to teach thousands of kid's Gracie Jiu-Jitsu and have tried my best to empower them all to be successful in their lives. Through trial and error, training with Early Childhood Teachers, and working side by side with Jason Spector and Tom Murphy of Sweethearts & Heroes, I truly believe that our Children's Program has rounded out and become what I always envisioned.

However; over the years, as I have worked to combat and conquer all levels of Bullying and Social Issues our kid's face, I have realized that there is a sometimes MISSING ELEMENT...

Reforming The Bullies!

Jason Spector (Phys. Ed Teacher, Real Life Superhero) was the first person to bring this to my attention and it forced some deep thought on my part. It forced me to re-evaluate and change perspectives on how I viewed the Bullying Epidemic. Kid's are not born Bullies! There are TWO things we must come to understand in regards to "Reforming The Bullies."

1. I believe that there are LESS Bullies than there are targeted students. This can be argued, but it is usually the case.
2. These Bullies are usually misguided children that have terrible home lives or have not been given the proper educational life lessons kid's should receive.

Part One above, made me REVERSE most of my Anti-Bullying strategy. When I would ask children how many Bullies they know, the answer was ALWAYS one or two. There is simply a smaller percentage of Bullies. When Tom Murphy (SweetheartsAndHeroes.org) presents to school's all over the nation, he asks teachers to raise their hands if they can think of kid's that are Bullies. The hands always fly up in a matter of seconds! Are we all doing our best to REFORM the kid's that have accidentally become BULLIES?


When a student comes in who displays the character traits related to that of a Bully, my focus turns intently to them and I try my hardest to give them perspective on life, respect, and compassion and also see if I can get to the source of their problems and Self-Esteem issues. When I developed this focus, I noticed that these particular children had ZERO education in those life areas! I also, realized that a lot of the Bullies, in a positive light, were generally children that had greater physical attributes and verbal skills. Finding this, my idea was to try and nurture those gifts to help reverse their character "flaws" and turn them from villains into SUPERHEROES! They now will have the wisdom and awareness to go on and make other children on the cusp of being targeted feel IMPORTANT and SIGNIFICANT all while they increase their insecurities and Self-Esteem!

It is easy to overlook the Bully, but we must realize that these are children that were not born this way, they have simply had improper guidance, abuse, and limited life perspective.

This BULLY REFORM is a part of The Eddie Fyvie Jiu-Jitsu Academy's
THREE STEP action plan...

1. Bully-proof EVERYONE : Teach physical Self-Defense skills for protection & confidence.
2. Bully-proof BYSTANDERS : Learn effective ways to remove targeted students while bullying is occuring and support students we WITNESS being bullied.
3. Reform the BULLIES : Teach perspective, provide mentoring, and boost Self-Esteem to create Superheroes that were on the WRONG PATH.

We must focus on leading by example in a modern world where Bullying has now become a 24 hour personal nightmare for kid's. If we can be more vigilant and if we can practice the THREE STEP action plan, there is HOPE that our society and future generations will be destined for success.

- Eddie Fyvie
www.EFJJA.com
​Self-Defense, Martial Arts, Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ, jujitsu) in Malta, Ballston Spa, Clifton Park, and Saratoga Springs